4 months B.N. (Before Noah)
I can’t wait to formally meet you. You’re daddy and I love to feel your movements and talk about what you’re going to be like when you grow up. You are already bringing us so much joy and happiness. You’re already making us excited and worried. The responsibility of naming you is nothing compared to the responsibility we already feel to keep you safe, happy and healthy.
You are already being spoiled by so many people who love you, both near and far. Fortunately for you, you are going to have some strict parents who won’t let you pass that border to spoiled rotten. Planning on how to raise you to be the very best that you can be is beautifully overwhelming, but I think that your dad and I are up to the task. I promise to do all that we can to stay a team, for us and our family.
This global pandemic that we are living through right now has us cooped in the house for two months. The very best part is knowing that we are spending it with you and that you are safe in my belly. It’s not always easy. Your daddy needs his time out with his friends to stay sane, and I need my time with him out of the house to stay sane too. However, we lay on the couch or in bed and awe at what our love made. We track your growth with our app which tells us which fruit or vegetable that you’re the size of. Right now you’re a red bell pepper. Yum!
Although we have been able to stay positive, we have dealt with some loss and heartbreak. Your Nonno lost his mom, your Bis-Nonna, last week. Your Nonna lost her brother-in-law last week. The most difficult part is not being able to be there with them. I hated seeing your daddy so worried and hearing your Nonni feeling so sad. We couldn’t even give them a hug, or a hand on their shoulder to let them, not just know, but feel that we were there with them. We felt even further away from them than the distance we feel from Florida, and we only live 10 minutes down the street.
Last Sunday was Easter. Normally we spend it in Florida with your American grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts and uncles, great-aunts and uncles, cousins and so many other friends. Not going to Florida was a tough decision, but when it was mandated by travel restrictions it became much more difficult to bear. None of them can touch my belly while you’re in there wiggling, but they are all preparing to come to see you as soon as you are here. Instead of spending Easter Sunday with a lot of people, we spent it celebrating you! We are already dressing you up by painting my belly like a little white Easter bunny and you kept kicking where your daddy was painting. Maybe you felt the cold paint? Your daddy did such a good job showing off his artistic skills. I was so proud of him.
We continued the day relaxing in the sun and barbequing just the “three” of us. We are fortunate to live in a time of advanced technology that can bring us all together even when we are apart. We were able to talk to your grandparents here in Italy on Facetime, just like we do with your Florida grandparents. It was hard not to be together, but you eased the pain by giving us something positive to focus on and I am proud of us for staying in. There were so many people that went against the rules, or recommendations, and gathered together anyway. Maybe it was the hormones, but the thought of people gathering and passing the virus did upset me. Your daddy did a good job consoling me this time though. After shedding a few tears, we went to bed after imagining what it’s going to be like when you are laying there with us.
I also decided to start an online, on-going facebook baby shower to celebrate you this week. So far, this has been such a great experience and has lifted my spirits. Although all of the people invited aren’t together physically, we are all coming together, while being far apart, for one common reason. We’re doing lots of fun activities and started some games with prizes too! I can’t wait to send out the first prize next week. Your daddy is so excited, but he is still just a man. I think being a daddy will hit him the minute that he sees you. He doesn’t quite understand the excitement of a baby shower or other ‘girly’ things that you probably won’t understand either. I was missing sharing that motherly/girly excitement, and this baby shower is honestly helping me fill that little void and making me feel so connected with my girlfriends and family that are participating.
Noah, you are being born into an extraordinary time. It’s very difficult in many ways, but there is so much opportunity for innovation and growth. I have faith that you are going to be a big part of that, and I hope that we will be encouraging parents that will raise you to positively impact those around you. We’re going to pour so much love into you that you will just have to share the residual with everyone you meet.
I’ll love you forever,